MDiv Essay

Kenneth Mark Landes

After the shock of the 2016 presidential election, I started to look for a way in which I could continue to help our divided country and those people impacted by the election of Donald Trump and a Republican majority in Congress. As part of my attempt to get my military discharge upgraded before my 30th Class Reunion at the United States Military Academy at West Point in 2017, I found a letter that was written twenty-five years earlier from an Army Chaplain supporting my attending a theological seminary. This renewed interest in my becoming a chaplain but with a twist as I no longer believe in the supernatural and am a Secular Humanist. This realization appeared to be the best way to help myself and others in dealing with the sense of betrayal of the freedoms that we as Americans hold dear. Despite my lack of belief, I still feel like I can support the spiritual needs of a diverse group of believers, as I grew up as a believing member of the United Methodist and Southern Baptist Churches in Monte Vista, Colorado so I understand the need to believe in something bigger than myself. I also evaluated other beliefs to both defend my Christian faith and as part of my deconversion process. My goal is to become a Humanist Chaplain at a university, hospital, hospice or hopefully a VA (Veterans Affairs) Hospital. 

The Humanist Society uses the Board of Chaplaincy Certification, Inc. affiliate of the Association for Professional Chaplains (APC) for certification. I need to complete a Master’s of theological studies to become endorsed by the Humanist Society. Growing up in the United Methodist Church and Monte Vista, I had naturally heard of Iliff and in 2017 I learned of the Journey program and the inclusive nature of Ififf’s program.  I am working full time as a Senior Systems Analyst for a biopharmaceutical company that uses plasma donations to create life-saving treatments for rare blood diseases and other treatments. I am hopeful that I found a program that would fit my schedule, provide comprehensive theological instruction and fulfill a life-long desire to provide spiritual assistance to a diverse group of religious and non-religious individuals. The most important part of the program that drew my attention was the commitment to social justice and inclusion. 

On my blog that I am trying to document my journey to become a Humanist Chaplain, I recently posted a blog where I discussed why marching in the 2019 World Pride Parade in New York City was so important for me. The short version is that the week before the World Pride Parade I received an email from the lawyers the Modern Military Association of America, who had reviewed my service and discharge records. They informed me that because I was too open and honest with my struggles in hiding my homosexuality from the military and myself when the Army conducted a Criminal Investigation in allegations against me, it was unlikely that my discharge would qualify for an upgrade. So, despite volunteering to serve my country in a combat environment (Persian Gulf War) and having a good to outstanding service record, my discharge would remain as Other Than Honorable, and I would continue to be ineligible for Veteran Affairs benefits. In addition, I returned from the combat operations area as a psychiatric patient as I had seriously contemplated suicide, I was not part of any victory parade or party as my career dreams and plans were crushed. Marching with the Modern Military Association of America in the World Pride Parade 2019 was the first time that I felt included and appreciated for my service to this country. My personal experience is only part of the reasons that I will continue to fight for social justice and inclusion in whatever position I serve. 

Growing up in Monte Vista and with the majority of my schooling in the Sargent school district (a rural school district 7 miles north and two miles east of Monte Vista) including Grade, Junior High, and High school I did not have much experience or exposure to African-Americans. During my thirteen years of schooling, I only knew of two students including one in my grade that were African-American and they only attended the school for one school year. The majority of my classmates were white Protestants with a few Hispanics and mix raced Hispanic and Native Americans. There were different groups within the school, but I very rarely saw any racial animosity. There was some general bigotry outside of the school such as referring to some of the Hispanics as wet-backs but was not a generally held belief and was quickly shut down. The biggest bigot I knew growing up was my maternal grandmother who talked about the Jews in the media, the uppity n-words and the wet-backs which was interesting as she was the most educated of my immediate family, as she was the only one who graduated from college when I was young. Fortunately, even when I was young, I knew that kind bigotry was wrong and thanks to my upbringing in Christianity I embraced the idea that we were all of God’s children and tried to treat everyone fairly and equally. 

With my limited exposure to racial minorities, I had no understanding of the discrimination that African-Americans faced. I was happy to find out that one of my first roommates was African-American but my expectation that we would become fast friends was built on the idea that would find common ground or shared experience. I could not be more wrong as he came from the city and had to attend the United States Military Academy Preparatory School where he had already established friendships with fellow African-American students who were also New Cadets going through Cadet Basic Training (CBT) before the academic school year started. After CBT I rarely saw my roommate again as we were assigned to different Cadet Companies, so I knew I had to try to educate myself on some of the differences. That school year while in the library I found a bust of the first African-American graduate of West Point Henry O. Flipper. I read how he and four other African-American cadets were treated by the white cadets. No white cadets would speak to them, they were shunned and segregated from the rest of the school. Even after he graduated, he was treated with great disrespect as he was falsely accused of embezzlement and eventually court-martialed. 

My class was only the 7th class at West Point to include women and I found some of the same discrimination directed at my female classmates and female cadets in general. There was a class in a Cadet Company who claimed that they had ‘gotten’ rid of their female classmates. I did my best to support my female classmates to the point that I got into trouble for standing up for a classmate who was trying to maintain her weight. Unfortunately, the Cadet diet was still designed to provide the number of calories (around 3000) required for the male cadets and did not take into account that women need less. When a foreign upperclassman demanded that she eat everything I stood up for my classmate and her right to determine what was best for her. I did get into trouble but knew I had done the right thing and would do it again.

As a Humanist Chaplain, I embrace Cultural Humanism. I am a Secular Humanist but respect and embrace the ideal of Religious Humanism that most human beings have personal needs that are met by their faith. This ideal recognizes that difference in doctrine is not as important as the meeting my fellow human beings need by faith in action. It is my belief that Iliff’s core values of social justice, equality and wholeness are perfectly aligned with Religious Humanism.